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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29751750">Forgive Me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eowyn99s/pseuds/Eowyn99s'>Eowyn99s</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Lucifer (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Be gentle this is my first fanfic post in 23 years, Character Death, Gen, Heavy Angst, Multi, My First AO3 Post, Possible part of Season 5B</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 22:41:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,147</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29751750</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eowyn99s/pseuds/Eowyn99s</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on a rumor I heard at the end of 2020, this two-parter explores the moment we lose one of our major beloved characters, and how those closest to them adjust in the immediate aftermath.  I guessed that it would occur in Season 5 B, but it could happen in Season 6, I suppose.</p><p>This just popped into my head and it begged to be let loose.  You know how that goes.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Chloe Decker &amp; Trixie Espinoza &amp; Lucifer Morningstar, Chloe Decker/Dan Espinoza/Lucifer Morningstar, Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>44</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Forgive Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Dan!!” Chloe screamed.  She ran to him, put her hands on him, checked his wounds.  They were bleeding, bleeding all over.  Her hands were covered the second she pressed down on them.  Dan was squirming and panting and panicking.  She tried to calm him.  “Dan, you’re ok.  You’re going to be ok.”  She turned her head and shouted, “Someone call an ambulance!!”</p><p>Lucifer was also there, at her side, leaning over Dan.  “Daniel!” he shouted, trying to sound angry, trying to control his own panic.  “Are you an idiot!?  What do you think you are doing!?”</p><p>Dan looked down at his body, at the blood, at their faces.  He was frantic.  “It’s done!  It’s done!  Chlo, I’m done!  I know it!”</p><p>“What are you talking about, Dan?  You’re going to be fine!!”  But the fear was evident in her voice.  “Ambulance, get that ambulance!!” she shouted again over her shoulder.</p><p>“Chloe,” Dan panted, “Chloe, listen to me.  I’ve got to tell you something…”</p><p>“Daniel,” Lucifer tried to assure him, “it’ll keep.  You’ll be fine.  Don’t talk.  Keep your strength.”</p><p>“No!” Dan shouted, weakly.  “No, it won’t keep!  This is the end, I know it!  Chloe, you have to know… I’m a bad person.  I’ve done bad things!”</p><p>“Dan, I know all about that,” she replied, only half listening, concentrating on stemming the flow of blood.  She was so very frightened, trying so hard to hide it.  “I know about Malcolm, and the evidence – remember, I was there.  It’s ok, I believe in you.  I know that you’re a good man.”</p><p>“Yes, that, but there’s more!”  Dan started to cry.  The skin around his eyes was turning pale.  He coughed and curled in pain.  “I had Perry Smith killed,” he choked out.</p><p>“What??” she cried, horrified.  “What are you talking about??”  She stared at him.  Lucifer stared at both, not understanding.</p><p>Dan coughed again.  Blood appeared on his lips.  “I arranged for the mob to pick him up.  He’s dead.”</p><p>“Well, just desserts, I’d say!” Lucifer quipped, trying to help in the only way he could.  He leaned forward to support Dan’s head, but Dan shook him off.</p><p>“I’m going to Hell!” he cried.  The tears on his cheeks highlighted the increasing paleness of his skin.  He reached out and gripped Chloe's shoulder and stared into her eyes.  “Chloe, I’m so sorry.  I did it to keep you safe.  I couldn’t let him just walk free, after what he did.  He was going to hurt you.  I love you. I love Trixie.  I couldn’t let him do that!  Please, please forgive me!” </p><p>“Dan… Dan… you’re not… you’re not going to Hell,” she stammered, openly crying.  “I understand… I… I forgive you.  Trixie and I… we will always love you.  No matter what.”  She sobbed.  She gathered his head and shoulders into her arms, sat so that she could cradle him.  “Hang on, Dan.  Hang on.  You’ll be ok.”</p><p>“Chloe… Chloe… Oh, my god, I’m so scared!  I’ll never see you, or Trixie again!  Forgive me!”</p><p>Lucifer was struck helpless by the tragedy unfolding before him.  He knelt next to her, overwhelmed by her grief, and Dan’s hopelessness, and his own impotence.  Something made him suddenly look over his shoulder.  Standing just inside the doorway was his Father.  Instantly, he was on his feet, and a second later, was by his side.  </p><p>“Dad!” he said, fighting to keep his voice low.  “Dad, do something!”</p><p>“What is it I should do?” his Father asked.</p><p>“You can stop this!  You can save his life!”</p><p>Father looked at him in his steady, measured way for a long moment. Then, he solemnly shook his head.  “He’s in the process.  I cannot stop this now.”</p><p>Lucifer stared at him incredulously, then fury took over.  “Then save him from Hell!  You can do that, at least!”</p><p>“He’s chosen his path,” was another solemn answer.</p><p>From behind him, Dan and Chloe’s desperate voices drifted to them; Dan’s choking pleas as he lay dying, Chloe’s sobs as she comforted him.  Lucifer’s heart shattered.  When he faced his Father again, his eyes were full of tears, and his voice shook as he pleaded, “Please, Father, have mercy on him… on his soul… Please… please don’t send him there.  Please don’t break her heart.  Father, I’m begging you!”</p><p>When Father continued to remain impassive, Lucifer exploded.  “Take me instead!  I’ll go, I’ll go in his place!  I’ll stay there forever – no more trips back here, no more rebellions… I’ll be the perfect son!  I’ll go where you want, do what you want, take whatever task you give me – no complaints.  I promise!  Only please… please take him to the Silver City with you.  She loves him.  Give her, and their child, the peace of knowing that he is safe.”</p><p>Father’s face changed – he looked on him with gentleness and respect.  Softly, he said, “You know that we don’t hold hostages, my son.”  He gazed at his son’s impassioned face, wet with tears.  He looked over at the bloodied couple, holding each other tight.  Finally, he gave an almost imperceptible nod.  Lucifer broke – he knelt, took his Father’s hand, kissed it, then held it to his forehead.  He looked up at him in tragic gratitude. “Thank you, Father,” he said.  Then he hurried to Chloe’s side.</p><p>He put his arms around both her and Dan as she held him tight in her embrace.  Dan was gasping for air, still crying, still saying, “Forgive me, please,” blood pooling under his body.  Chloe was rocking him, whispering, “I forgive you, I’m here, Dan, I won’t leave you…”  Lucifer put his mouth next to Dan’s ear and said, gently but firmly, “Daniel, listen to me.  Listen to me, Daniel.  You’re not going to Hell.  Do you hear me?  You’re not going to Hell.  I promise you.”</p><p>Dan heard him.  He pulled his head back from Chloe’s shoulder and looked right at him.  “I’m not?” he asked weakly.</p><p>Lucifer placed his hand on the side of Dan’s face so he would know that he was real, that his words were real.  “No, Daniel.  You are not. You are going to Heaven.  To be with Charlotte, and the others you love.  And Chloe and Trixie will join you there, when it is their time.”</p><p>Dan stared at him in disbelief, his bloodied lips looking ghastly against his pale face.  Chloe was staring at him, too.  “Really, man?” Dan asked.  Chloe breathed, “Oh, my god, Lucifer.”  Dan suddenly smiled.  He turned his head back to Chloe and said, “Tell Trixie I love her.”  The next moment, his rapidly unfocusing gaze moved to the ceiling.  “Charlotte,” he whispered.  “Charlotte, is that you?  I’m here… wait for me, Charl….” His eyes closed.  Everything stopped.  His body slumped, lifeless, in Chloe’s arms.  She looked at him, then at Lucifer.  And then she started to wail.</p><p>________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________</p><p>When Lucifer arrived at Chloe’s apartment, he found her sitting on her couch, pouring over an open photo album.  Other albums, in various sizes and thicknesses, littered the coffee table in front of her.  She looked up at his approach.  “Hi,” she said softly.</p><p>“Hi,” he replied, also softly.  They exchanged small, sad smiles.  She shifted slightly on the couch, and he settled down close to her, putting his arm around her back.  They gave each other a tender kiss.  “The limo is here,” he told her.  “Are you ready?”</p><p>“Yeah,” she replied.  She was tragically beautiful, with her hair up and the tiniest bit of makeup.  The simple, dark navy dress she wore made her big blue eyes, still shiny with tears, shine even brighter.  She looked back down at the album on the table.  The page was full of photos of her and Dan, or just Dan, holding Trixie when she was just a new baby.  Dan’s smile was huge, with no trace of fear or uncertainty on his face.</p><p>“I was terrified,” she said, “when Trixie was born.  I’d had such a wonky childhood, I had such doubts when she arrived, that I would mess it up.  That I would mess her up.  But Dan –” She shook her head, swallowed.  “He… he was my rock.  He had such faith – in me, in our family…”  New tears fell from her eyes.  Lucifer put both of his arms around her, held her close to him.  She took a deep, shaky breath.  “He was what I needed, then.  We were such a great team.  There’s so much I wish I’d told him, before…”</p><p>Lucifer hugged her a little tighter.  In a low voice, he said, “I realize that humans have a hard time with this separation.  You think all kinds of weird things about the ‘afterlife’, about whether they’re happy, or know all those things you never got around to say.”  He pulled away just enough to look into her face.  He gently smoothed back an errant strand of shiny hair behind her ear.  “I know it’s a cliché, but once there, they really are happy, and they really do know.”</p><p>“Really?” she whispered.  She smiled through her tears.  “Then it’s true?”</p><p>“Yes,” he promised. He wiped away the tears on her cheek, kissed her on her forehead.</p><p>“Wow, that really helps.  I know that people always say that, but knowing it…” She nodded.  He could feel the quiet settle into her.  She smiled at him again, brighter.  “Thank you.”</p><p>At that moment they both sensed a presence and turned to see Trixie standing near.  She stood very still; her face expressionless.  Her eyes were red from crying, but now they were clear and stony.  </p><p>“Hi, Monkey,” Chloe said softly.  “Are you ready to go?”</p><p>Trixie nodded.  Chloe said to Lucifer, “Let me get my coat,” then stood and walked away, tenderly kissing Trixie on her head as she passed.  Trixie continued to stare at Lucifer.</p><p>“Hello, small human,” he said gently.  “Though I don’t think that we can call you that much longer.  I think you’re as tall as your Grandmum now, aren’t you?”  She didn’t react.  He pointed down at the pictures in the album.  “Look at you here, a really tiny thing, all wrinkled and sassy.  Who would have thought that you’d grow up so –”</p><p>He was looking down when he sensed the movement toward his face, and flinched at the last second, enough that Trixie’s fist glanced off his cheekbone rather than hit him full in the eye.  It was the shock rather than the force of the punch that drove him back into the couch cushions.  He stared at her, astonished.  She stood over him, seemingly huge in her rage, which was now fully exposed on her face.  She brought up her fists for another punch; he raised his hands, palm out, in surrender.</p><p>“Why didn’t you save him?!!” she yelled, in a voice much too big for her body.  “Why?!”</p><p>“I – “ he stammered.  “I couldn’t.”</p><p>“Yes, you could’ve!!  I know you were there!!  You could’ve if you’d wanted to!!”</p><p>Chloe came running in.  She took in the scene, and asked, scared, “What’s going on??”</p><p>Trixie pointed a finger at the cowering Lucifer.  “He could’ve saved him, Mom!!  And he didn’t!!”</p><p>Chloe took a moment to calm her voice.  “Monkey, no one could save him.  It happened too fast.  We called for help and everything.  We all tried.  Lucifer did all he could.  It wasn’t his fault.”</p><p>“It IS!!  I know he could’ve saved him!!”</p><p>“How could I have saved him?” Lucifer asked, his expression changing slightly as realization started to dawn.</p><p>“I know who you are!  I’ve always known who you are!  You could’ve done something!”</p><p>Lucifer and Chloe exchanged alarmed looks.  Lucifer asked Trixie, “What do you mean, you know who I am?”</p><p>Trixie sneered, “I was a kid, but I wasn’t stupid.”</p><p>Lucifer lowered his hands and sat upright on the couch.  He leaned forward slightly, and in a low voice, asked, “Did you ever see me look different than I do right now?”</p><p>Trixie rolled her eyes.  Her expression, perfected by tweens from the beginning of time, clearly said, Please save me from these morons!  Her voice dripping with sarcasm, she said, “Of course not.  You always wear those stupid suits.”</p><p>Chloe instantly opened her mouth to correct Trixie’s impudent attitude but had to put her hand in front of her mouth to hide her smile.   Lucifer, seeing this, gave her a “Really?” look.</p><p>Trixie continued with open contempt.  “Don’t you ever wear anything cool?  Like a hoodie?”</p><p>This time Chloe had had enough.  “Trixie!” she warned.</p><p>“My name,” Trixie roared, “is BEATRICE!”</p><p>A stunned silence followed her outburst.  Trixie’s face was red, her expression eerily adult-like in her rage.  After a few moments, Lucifer sat forward on the edge of the couch, adjusted his suit coat and sleeves, and gazed levelly at her.  He could have stood and gained the upper hand with his towering height, but he chose to stay at this level, equal in stature with her.</p><p>“You’re right, Miss Beatrice,” he addressed her, somewhat formally, but still with warmth.  “You are a young lady now, and fully capable of holding an adult conversation about difficult topics.  Go ahead, ask me anything you wish.”  When Chloe made a move as if to interfere, he held up his hand to her.  Slowly she sat down on a chair near where she’d been standing and waited.</p><p>Trixie blinked, then took a deep breath.  Apparently, she was up for the challenge.  She asked, “Why didn’t you save him?”</p><p>“I’m not sure what you think I could have done, Miss Beatrice.  He was very badly hurt.  I can’t perform miracles.”</p><p>“But…”  She stopped, very puzzled in her anger.</p><p>“What do you think I am?” he asked.</p><p>“I’m not sure,” she answered, “but I know that you come from that place that people go when they die.  So I guess that you’re an angel.”</p><p>Lucifer neither confirmed nor denied her assessment.  Instead, he looked at her tenderly and said, “I’m truly sorry that I couldn’t do more to help your father.  And I know that it doesn’t help you now, but he is safe, and –”</p><p>“I know, I know,” she interrupted dismissively, “he’s ‘in a better place’.  And ‘he’ll always be with me, in spirt’.  Everyone always says that.”</p><p>“It’s true,” Lucifer said softly.  </p><p>Trixie was quiet for a moment, in deep thought.  Then, suddenly, she burst out, “If you’re an angel, you can go get him and bring him back!”</p><p>Lucifer again exchanged a quick, concerned look with Chloe, but regained his composure instantly.  Very steadily, he replied, “I can’t do that.”</p><p>“Yes, you can!”</p><p>“No, I’m sorry, but I can’t.”</p><p>“Why not??”</p><p>“I’m afraid I’m not welcome where your father is.”</p><p>Trixie just stared at him.  She hadn’t anticipated that answer.  Lucifer continued, “Besides, once someone’s soul has crossed over, they couldn’t come back in the same body.  Even if your father could come back, it wouldn’t be him anymore, it would be someone different, someone who didn’t know you.  That’s not what you really want, is it?”</p><p>“All I know,” she replied, “is that he belongs here, with me.”  As the words came out, the rage in her face suddenly dissolved into utter grief.  Tears welled up in her eyes.  “He belongs here… with… me…”  She bowed her head, and the raging adult transformed back into the heartbroken child.  Lucifer immediately came off the couch and knelt and gathered her in his arms.  She sobbed against his shoulder, “With me... he belongs with me...”  Chloe was there a second later, kneeling, embracing them both.  </p><p>They stayed in this sad huddle for a while, drawing comfort from one another, until Trixie’s sobbing quieted.  Lucifer placed an arm under Trixie’s legs and lifted her in his arms, then stood.  Chloe stood with them.  Trixie’s face stayed against his shoulder while he and Chloe looked at each other, each silently knowing the other’s thoughts.  They turned together toward the door, and Chloe gathered the things they needed and opened the door for him and Trixie, then closed it behind them.</p><p>The limo driver opened the back door, and Lucifer gently placed Trixie inside on the seat.  Straightening, he and Chloe again looked at each other.  Her face was full of many emotions.  She said, “It would probably be better if –”</p><p>“I concur,” he agreed.  He drew her in for a hug.  “I’ll wait for you here.”</p><p>She gave him a grateful smile as he helped her into the limo.  The driver closed the door.  He waited, his hands in his pockets, as the limo started to drive away.  He turned with a sigh and was halfway back to the apartment when he heard a tiny squeal of brakes and the sound of a car door opening.  He stopped, turned, and saw Trixie running toward him.  She stopped just short of arm’s length and looked up at him.  Although her face was wet with tears, she was Trixie again, just very sad.  He regarded her with concern.  She reached out and took his hand.  “Come with us,” she said.</p><p>Lucifer shook his head.  “Miss Beatrice,” he said gently, “your mother and I thought it best that I stay here.”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>He squeezed her hand a little, trying to find the words to explain.  “Out of respect for your Dad,” he settled. </p><p>“You’re his friend, right?”</p><p>He had to think about that and realized the truth.  “Yes.”</p><p>“Then you should be there.  I want you there.  Come with us.”  She tugged on his hand, and reluctantly he allowed her to lead him to the limo, and into the back seat.  The driver closed the door behind him.  He looked over at Chloe sitting on the other side of Trixie.  She had fresh tears in her eyes.  He started to apologize, gesturing at Trixie, as she snuggled up against his chest. “She –”</p><p>Chloe nodded.  It was ok.  He looked only slightly uncomfortable as Trixie put her arms around his waist and burrowed closer, leaving him no choice but to put his arms around her and hold her close.  Once done, he settled right away.  Chloe saw the look of contentment that crossed his face.</p><p>“By the way,” Trixie said, her voice muffled, “you can call me Trixie for a little bit longer.”</p><p>Lucifer smiled down at Trixie.  Chloe reached over and smoothed her fingertips through his hair over his ear.  Through her tears, she mouthed, Thank you.  His lips quirked up in the corners, acknowledging his powerlessness when it came to the small human.</p><p>To break the tension, and in an homage to past petulance, he quipped, “It’s truly inexplicable, how I can’t seem to go ten minutes without having a Decker woman in my arms.”</p><p>Chloe smiled broadly.  “What’s really inexplicable, is how much she actually likes you.”</p><p>Utterly deadpan, he asked haughtily, “Seriously, what’s not to like?”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>In case you're confused... I purposely started at the point that Dan was mortally wounded, so that the reader, or the upcoming season's storyline, could fill in the who/what/when/where/how.  No back story that I could invent had the same impact that the actual death had in my mind.  I apologize for the abruptness.</p><p>A little background on the author...<br/>I'm a fanfic writer from waaaaaaaay back... like from the '90's.  I know.  I was a single mom with little kids and life got too busy to keep it up.  I was writing X-Files fic then.  (I'll repost my last work in the X-Files fandom on this site, in case you want to check it out.  It's loooonnngg -- just warning you.)  Anyway, I just didn't get motivated to post anything until I saw Lucifer on Netflix, and boy oh boy, the urge came roaring back.</p><p>Hope you liked it.  Comments and constructive suggestions are always welcome.  I'm a little rusty, so please be gentle.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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